The article was provided by planetofbrides site
Something a lot of men deal with these days is escaping the friendzone. To start things off, understand that there are two types of friendzones.
- She herself tells you straightaway that she perceives you as a brother, a friend, a neighbor, a colleague, etc., only not as her own man, or even clearly and openly states that between you there cannot be a relationship as a man and a woman.
This is the most innocuous friendzone, because everything is clearly stated and there is no deception. If in this situation you continue to seek a woman, then you are an idiot, and all the blame for being in the friendzone is on him only. The main thing here that keeps you in the friendzone is the illusion that the woman’s decision can be changed if you “become better”, strengthen the pursuit and conquest of her heart.
- The second option is much more frequent and much more complicated. Although, it is more difficult at first sight, in actuality, there is nothing that complicated here.
You hang around a woman, try to look after her, commit resources, but do not clearly state your intentions. Either you are a caring dad, a compassionate mother Teresa, or an understanding companion. You “communicate” with the lady and hope that she will appreciate your efforts with dignity and will finally begin to take counter steps.
Both the man and the woman are to blame in situations like these. The woman because while understanding the aspirations of the man, she does not directly and clearly let him understand that nothing will turn out. On the contrary, she leads him by the nose, holding him on a short leash. It is profitable for her to sell the ephemeral hope for relations for real resources: care, attention, kindness on the part of the man, his help, services, entertainment that he delivers to her, sometimes money, gifts, etc.
But the fault of the man is greater. Why? Because he did not specify the format of relations. He walks around the bush instead of directly telling what he needs from a woman.
There is a Chinese proverb: “There are ten steps between you and another person. If you take five and do not meet anyone, then turn around and leave. ” So in this situation, a man does not take five steps out of ten, but fifty. He would have stopped a long time ago, but he keeps doing all these steps, continuously walking further into the void, further into the friendzone. It’s not a woman who drags him there. He himself goes there, on his own free will. So ask yourself, how does one escape the friendzone is a situation like this.
So what do you do? There are two variants:
- Break off contact and throw her out of your life. The simplest option. You silently leave, and everything ceases. Or say: “Your friendship is uninteresting to me” and end the relationship.
- You clarify the relationship with the woman.
When the main issue is the uncertainty, the unclear position of the man – it is first necessary to clarify it. Both methods described above are ideally suited. If the relationship has just started or the initiative comes only from the man, and the woman is passive, then the second way is better. If a woman actively uses or tries to use a man, then resort to cutting off contact and go silent. Either way, it is up to you to take the first step in order to escape the friendzone.
Remember that the only acceptable answer is a clearly positive one, and even better, one followed by positive action. This is when a woman not only agrees in words, but she herself shows reciprocity, makes the necessary steps towards you.
Remember that it is necessary to talk calmly with a woman. Without aggression, claims, sarcasm, attempts to hurt her, but also without humor, jokes, attempts of unnecessary softening of the blow. Otherwise, the woman will take the entire conversation as a joke – and joke in return. Now you know how to escape the friendzone and have a better understanding of why you were there in the first place.